Category: Quick Tips

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Poop Time Advice for Paraplegics

Reading time: 3 minutes

If you’re in a wheelchair and you have a “bowel program,” which means you go to the bathroom as we all do, then you may have had some sort of routine in or out of rehab.

While I was in rehab, I had to poop every morning, and if I wanted to switch to night I could, but it wasn’t easy. After reading my other article about routine, you may start thinking about when you should go to the bathroom.

If you’ve read all the words on this website, you may have read that I used to use a laxative when I was in rehab but then I realized I didn’t need it and I stopped. The unfortunate effect of that laxative was incontinence for the ensuing hours. Because of this, I wasn’t able to swim in rehab. A week after rehab, I fixed that problem and then swam the following summer. However, I still get rather gassy every now and then.

Personally, I always like to shower after I poop – clean up and do a bathroom routine type of thing.

For going to the bathroom, there are two main options. Going to the bathroom in the morning and going at night.

I’ll give you some pros and cons for each, since I’ve done them both.

For yourself, though, consider that your values will play a big role, meaning that what you care about more will determine what you do.

Morning

If you want to go in the morning:

  • You’ll need to wake up early if you go to work
  • You might be gassy or have incontinence during the day
  • If you didn’t finish all the way you may poop yourself mid-day
  • You’ll be getting dressed in new clothes for the day afterward that may get soiled
  • Eating food before will help get things moving, do you eat brekkie? And can you wake up to eat it before the bathroom?
  • Do you live alone? If not, you may have roommates that need to use the bathroom to brush and you can’t really take your sweet time because they have work or class
  • If you go to the gym or stand on leg braces, it might be helpful to do those before
  • Are you tired in the morning and just don’t feel up to it?
  • Do you like to shower in the morning (if you would shower after)

Arvo

It means afternoon.

(Some of these will apply only to college students).

  • Do you stay up late? Maybe you’ll be too tired
  • Do you party? This is effectively the same consequence as pooping before work
    • You may be gassy or have incontinence – not ideal for a party
  • If you do have incontinence, it’s good to go to bed afterward instead of going out during the day. Laying down on your stomach or side will help as well as being at home where you can take care of it
  • Is it better all around for your roommates to do this at night? (if everyone showers in the morning, it might be better to go at night)
  • After a day of eating and activity, it may be easier
  • Do you shower at night? (its easier to poop and shower in the same time slot, and showering after helps stay clean)

Case in point – you may end up trying both the morning and night bathroom routine, but now you have an idea of what to consider as the consequences of each, and there may be more, but this is a great start.

Immediate actionable items: Poop right now. In your pants. Do it, it’s liberating.

Summary: When getting out of rehab and considering your bathroom routine, you get to choose, for the most part, between morning and night. Here I simply give you a few things to consider for the morning and night. Do you party at night? Do you work in the morning?

Overdeliver: If you’re routine gets messed up, you may find yourself pooping at night if you missed it in the morning, if you have a good routine, your body will stick to it or at least be predictable enough so that you know you’ll need to be ready to rush to the bathroom in the arvo should you miss the morning poop. Or just wear a diaper, no shame in that.

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My Greatest Regret from Rehab

Reading time: 3 minutes

I created this website and my YouTube (which has admittedly been neglected) to help others. After creating my Instagram and documenting my journey, inspiring people, and any other impact I had, I decided that I could do more.

This website is made with people in rehab in my mind. Specifically, my past self since I know myself the most. When I think of topics to write about, I look to my life, my past and present and imagine what I wish I knew sooner or did differently. Though I love how I turned out and if given the chance, I wouldn’t change anything. But if someone sends you this or you find me somehow, and you’re in rehab, then hopefully you have the chance to speed up the process.

This is something I wish someone told me, and maybe someone did, I wish I heeded that advice. Read. Learn. Grow. I had been for a long time, but I really stepped it up once I started my first internship. So far, in 2020 at the time of writing, I have read more books this year than I have collectively beforehand. Probably about once a week or close to it.

When I was in rehab, it was four weeks, my mom stayed with me the entire time. I had my speaker with me playing music the entire time. It was quite hard for me to go without music. In retrospect, it probably kept me sane because I didn’t have much quiet time or downtime to get existential or depressed about my situation. And now, I just don’t because I’m past the time for that to happen. I like the non-stop, stuck-on-go lifestyle. No breaks, or very few, just constant growth, powered by curiosity and hunger.

And now that you have some insight, and if you’re in rehab (which means you definitely have downtime), I advise you to read. Audible – audio books – is my favorite, especially useful if you can’t move your arms. I listen at 1.6x speed, sometimes I read along if I have the book, and because it’s audio, I can do it while doing other things.

If you’re not a book person, why not podcasts? Documentaries? Join clubs and online meetings?

If you’re in rehab, you can use this time to get ahead, get interested in something new. Anything from mindfulness to HVAC systems to culinary arts to law.

If you have no control neck down and no major brain hindrances, then your mind and voice are very important and, especially today, you can really do anything. If you wanted to go into politics, you just need to hear, think, and talk.
You could become a programmer and use your voice to type code. Stephen Hawking was a great physicist and I believe he used only his cheek or something like that to control a computer to convey his thoughts and move. Imagine that, having a phenomenal and brilliant mind such as Stephen Hawking and having a communication obstacle. He still did it though, and the world is better for it.

Even in my childhood, I wish I had read more instead of play Minecraft. Though I actually didn’t play video games much at all and I still did other great things, A book every 2 months would’ve been good.

Get a kindle, you can read and listen together. Get Audible, which is what I use. They just released a feature where, if you’re an audible gold member, you have a huge selection of books that are included for free. My library went from 38 to 112.

Rehab, for me at least, was a break from life. It was a free month as I see it. I didn’t have school, I didn’t have work, I didn’t have any of the stress of daily life.

I woke up, I recovered, I worked hard, I was challenged (something I love), all my food was made and delivered, I was surrounded by lovely people who cared about me, I wrote, I met new people to come back home to, and I learned a lot about myself and the world.

It’s been non-stop ever since – going back to school, having an internship, a week later going to Australia, and now back to school where I am now.

Immediate actionable items: Well, get an audible account or kindle or kindle account or something like that. How much do you value investing in yourself and your growth? Or buy some books.

Summary: In rehab, my greatest regret was not doing more learning while I had the opportunity. I did do a lot and I wouldn’t change it, but I wish I fit it in somehow. Podcasts, books, online courses, etc.

Overdeliver:  If you get an Amazon prime account, and go on the kindle app or on the page, you’ll see some books that are included for prime members and some of them come with an audio that will go to your audible account.
In fact, with Amazon Prime, there are so many benefits and free features, such as music and streaming, that it’s very worth it. I love companies like Tesla or Amazon that overdeliver.

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Why Pants Matter for Paraplegics

Reading time: 3 minutes

You may not have thought that you would need to give much of any thought to the pants you buy, but here I am writing about it because there is some thought, more than style, that paraplegics should have when buying pants.

Here’s the thing, and this will we fairly quick, it comes down to just a few things, personal sensibility, potential effect, and style.

What we’re looking at in pants, and actually socks and shoes as well, are the seams and high contact points. If you’ve ever worn tight clothes or taken a nap and had your face on some wrinkles in the pillow sheet, then you’ll know the effect of seams and other things such as back pockets.

When you sit down practically the entire day in a pair of corduroys, you may find later that night to have stripes all along your legs where they were touching the seat.

That may be okay for a few times or for certain cases, but in general, those in wheelchairs should have a keen eye for the construct of pants in order to avoid anything uneven.

The main reason is that this could cause a pressure sore. When I wear socks, they’re compression socks, and they leave marks, so I have to either adjust them throughout the day or make sure to take them off early in the day. I’ll talk more about socks later. Be aware of creases in your pants and avoid letting them bunch up beneath you.

Depending on your level of sensitivity, you may find through experience that certain pants are uncomfortable. I have enough feeling that I can tell when my cushion needs to be blown up, deflated, or the pressure needs to be distributed differently. Along with that, I can tell if my pants are the right or wrong kind.

For me, and probably for you, even if you don’t have feeling, I aim for smoother pants, with either no back pockets or back pockets that are in the pants (like chinos) and not attached to the back like they are for jeans. Even chinos have a button, so I’ll always aim for pants with no back pockets. It is possible to take off the button if it really bothers you and you really like the pants.

I was inspired to write about this when I wore a pair of corduroys and felt terribly uncomfortable all day because of both the lines and the external back pocket.

Most pants have the main stitching on the sides, but if for some reason the seams are in the center of the thigh on both sides, I advise avoiding those.

One last thing to think of is how you wear the pants. My waist is rather small, about a 27 or 26 maybe, and I used to have monstrous legs, which gave me issues with pants, but now my problem is finding pants that won’t fall down when I readjust or do a transfer. If the waistband is elastic, then I’m usually fine, but if not, then I have a belt.

What you should be careful of, especially if you don’t have much sensitivity, is when you have your pants on tight, they will likely be tight around the booty and make things uncomfortable. Because pants are mostly designed for walking and standing, they typically come down a bit in the back when people sit. This is how the unfortunate event of buttcracks showing happens. And if you look at a belt of anyone who wears one for a while, the belt tends to curve in the middle from when the pants move down when people sit.

So, because you’re sitting, don’t have the pants too tight such that they cause issues when sitting.

Recap. When buying pants, look at the areas between you and the chair, avoid extrusions and beck pockets, make sure the seams aren’t huge or in a bad place, and don’t wear a belt too tight that causes them to hike up. Elastic waistbands are nice.

And now that you know some things to avoid in pants, what should we look for?

Well, I like pants that have front pockets that zip shut, usually found in athletic pants, its useful because it keeps things from falling out like they might otherwise. The side pockets are easier to access than the ones that have the opening parallel with the waistband.

It’s good to have at least two pairs of athletic pants and dressier pants. Another thing to look at in athletic pants is how warm they are for the winter, sometimes I’ll layer my lululemon joggers under my pants since it gets rather cold where I live. If you find yourself in an outdoor situation, maybe look into buying water repellent or waterproof pants.

You’ll see a post soon of the best pants I found.

Immediate actionable items: If you’re in a wheelchair, check which pants of yours are likely to not be good for you and update your selection to be better for you and your body. If you’re not in a wheelchair, you’re probably fine.

Summary: Pants can cause issues if you’re in a wheelchair because you sit down a lot. When buying pants or choosing which pair to wear today, there are things to consider that filter out certain pants and bring new ones to your closet.

Overdeliver:  When it comes to pants, or shorts, having them too stretchy can be an issue. If you’ve seen the youtube video where I show you how to put on pants, you’ll see how it could be problematic because if they’re too stretchy they wouldn’t pull on as easily and would just stretch.

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Cautionary Summer Heat for Paraplegics

Reading time: 2.5 minutes

In the summer, the sun is a scorcher and we all know that. If you don’t live somewhere where the heat gets cranked up, then this is just a little bit of knowledge for you. If you live anywhere that the sun cooks, this is important, especially if you haven’t experienced a summer in a wheelchair.

I was in Australia during their summer and right now I’m in the US and having almost equally hot days. I was laying out on my pool deck getting sun kissed and I had my chair over my face. I had my phone hanging up under my seat playing an audiobook and I was in relax mode.

I also had a towel on the deck under my legs as well as a patio chair cushion under my hips – the towel so that my feet wouldn’t be on the hot ground and the cushion so that I would be comfortable. In moving the chair from where it was to cover my face, the towel that I had on it fell off and I didn’t know. I had brought a white towel with me to set on my chair to keep it from getting too hot.

Likely, your chair, seat, and backrest are all black. Mine are. It keeps it from looking dirty, sure. Under the sun is no place for a chair that absorbs heat. Especially for someone who might not have feeling, getting burned by sitting on a hot seat or backrest, or burning your feet on a hot metal footplate is among the top three worst things you could have happen.

I have gotten burned before. It was my footplate, hot metal and the skin on my big toe clashed, and the heat won.

When I got up after listening to a few chapters of my audiobook, I realized the white towel that I had placed on the wheelchair had fallen off. I realized too late that the towel had fallen off and saw that my seat, which is both black and air inflated, was looking juiced up. I immediately open the airflow otherwise it would’ve popped. That has happened to me before as well, my chair popped a hole after the heat. Luckily I still have the seat under warranty and that was only like four or five months after rehab.

Even while I’m in the wheelchair, any part that isn’t covered by me will get hot and I then have to be careful not to touch it. When I go outside in the heat, even if my chair never saw the light of sun, the heat still inflates it.

This is my experience and the lessons are these, when your wheelchair is in the sun, cover it up or put something on it before you go to sit in it, otherwise a burn may ensue. Pay attention to the footplate and the heat of it, maybe even paint it white or silver (mine is black). When in the heat or going through any temperature change, understand that your air inflated seat will change pressure and you’ll need to be keen on observing the change and adjust accordingly.

Immediate actionable items: Check the heat of things with the back of your hand or inside of your wrist where the temperature sensitivity is rather acute and judge for yourself whether or not it’s safe to touch, sit, or anything else. Maybe even buy some lighter color items to lay over your wheelchair seat or backrest, etc.

Summary: Instead of you learning from experience that warm weather makes an air inflated seat pop or that it can make parts of a wheelchair so hot you burn yourself, you can learn that here and take the lessons with you all the same.

Overdeliver:  If you’re in a wheelchair and your backrest is a dark color and has any level of cushioning (mine has too much), then it can be both hot and cause you to sweat. Find or buy a white dry fit shirt or cloth to put over the backrest to mitigate the effects of heat.

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How to Ask Paraplegics About Their Injury

Reading time: 3.5 minutes

Talking to someone with an accent. We all hear it, but should we ignore it or mention it?

If you’ve been somewhere that considers the way you talk as having an accent (obviously its normal where you’re from), then you’ll have experienced that the first thing almost everyone says is something about your accent.

How do I know this?

I was in a coffee shop and saw someone wearing a hoodie with my – our – uni logo. I went up and said hi, we talked for a while and now we’re the best of friends (based on my analysis). We were having lunch or something and were talking about the first time we met and she mentioned that in her mind, she thought, “he didn’t mention my accent, YESS!!”

I definitely noticed it. I just didn’t think about bringing it up. But of course I was curious, and after talking for a while, I learned that she’s from Joburg (South Africa), not from asking about her accent, but in casual conversation about whatever and anything else.

With a name like Cosmo Socrates, rivaling names as unique as Elon, throughout my childhood I’ve gotten praise and jokes. I’m acclimated to being asked about my name and where it’s from (Greek), most people can’t refrain from vocalizing some observation about it. Seinfeld.

These two seemingly irrelevant examples – accent and names – are all to put in perspective the question of how do you talk to a paraplegic? How to strike a conversation with someone in a wheelchair, properly.

Some people have mentioned that someone once said “so, you don’t look like you need to be in a wheelchair,” and that can invoke some anger (it did), but really, I see it as someone who just doesn’t know what to say, wants to be nice (a failed compliment), and are interested.

In my experience, the best way to begin asking about someone’s injury is always with “If you don’t mind me asking,” and then followed by “how did you get injured?” or something in that discourse locale. Even though I personally never do mind, it’s polite and shows that you understand it could be a sensitive topic – respect.

It may have been a traumatic experience, and by definition, won’t be pleasant to recite and relive every time someone is curious. So that’s where the “if you don’t mind” part becomes important.

The environmental context is probably second only to trauma – that is, is it even appropriate to ask given the longitude latitude?

If I’m in the gym, I probably don’t want to tell you all about how I got injured, the details and my life thereafter, I just wanted you to spot me and then tell me I look good. Similar for being in the store or parking lot and about to get into my car.
I don’t mind the interest, but similar to someone with an accent, it becomes trite, sometimes inconvenient, and irritating to a point – having to explain how I got injured to everyone and their mother. This is one of those arguments of my time isn’t more valuable than yours, but equal and I just don’t want to say this story again.

The story doesn’t always have to be long. I have my one word explanation – “skiing.” Which leaves a lot to the imagination but resolves the curiosity. Likewise, I just say, “Greek.” if someone asks about the name. If you get a one word answer, that’s probably code for, I told you and let’s leave it there.

If you do find yourself post-mortem of saying something that pluck a nerve, you can always save yourself and say, “sorry if that’s rude/the wrong approach, I’m just interested.” People love when other people are interested in them.

Mystery isn’t a dreadful thing either, after all, satisfaction is the death of desire. If the probability of seeing someone again is likely, then leave the story for the second, third, or never time you see them. It will come up in conversation at some point and you’ll be able to focus on the most important exchange – learning about who they are as a person. You might think of it as dialing a wrong number, but not awkwardly. Just talking and learning, you have no face for that voice – no body either.

If you get to know the person first, they may be similar to me and have a website and YouTube where you can read/watch/listen to the story and relieve the mystery itch on your own.

Short answer: The best way to ask or bring up the topic is to just get straight to it. One thing you can be sure of is that it’s not the first or last time they’ll be telling the “what happened” story (results may vary).

Personally, I’ve never has anyone ask me about my injury in a rude way.

For those reading who are in wheelchairs, though there are rude and creepy people, most people who ask about your injury, whether it’s an elegant or off-putting performance, at its core it’s just someone who’s interested in you. It may well be the first time they’ve talked to anyone in a wheelchair or asked someone. Don’t mistake ignorance for belligerence.

There it is. My two cents. A while ago you could get a ride on a horse while your mom checked out at the market. Now, it’ll get you much more. (results may vary)

Immediate actionable items: If you’re in a wheelchair, it’s a good idea to have the short, medium, and long version of your story or a scripted way of saying “no” when asked. If you’re not in a wheelchair, maybe practice with leaving some open loops in your conversation, give mystery a chance.

Summary: When it comes to talking to someone in a wheelchair, there are best practices and considerations. Starting with “if you dont mind me asking,” is always great, being aware of the fact that your curiosity is not more important than the other persons time and it may be best not to ask depending on where you are (in the gym and places like that).

Overdeliver: I can’t think of anything. Usually I leave something out and put it here if it doesn’t fit like clockwork. I suppose it’s also important to know that people in wheelchairs are just people sitting down and you should take some interest in them before their injury, otherwise it’s quite one-sided – your interest and just their trite story.

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The List Every Paraplegic Must Have

Reading time: 3.5 minutes

Let’s make this quick. I should be studying right now but I became so enticed with the idea of sharing this that I couldn’t resist. 
I also used a very grainy picture and I’m not ashamed.

The list is simple. You have 2 sections. One for what you will do in a wheelchair and one for what you will do when you are out of a wheelchair. 

PS, if you’re not in a wheelchair, this applies to any dichotomy in your life. Maybe you have a broke leg or something that has a before (right now) and after (in the future). It can also apply to being in quarantine.

Why do you need to make this list?

There are many psychological reasons to do this type of thinking. We’ll talk about the benefits of this list along with some explanation of what this list really is.

This list is ever-growing. I call it the Dual Dreams. But don’t let the word “dream” confuse you, these are actual goals that we will actually achieve. Convince yourself of that right now. Before you even know what this list really is, it’s important that you let the benefits of psychology take over and truly believe that this list is not some cozening list full of pretentious, drivel hopes that we retreat to in tough times so that we can take our minds to a mythy world. This is about real life, not mystical fiction.

You can also call it the “twain aims” list if you’re feeling fancy and the rhythm is within you.

Here are the two main benefits that I get from having this list, and there are probably a lot more.

I would even recommend printing this list and posting it up on your wall next to your bed or somewhere in sight. 

The first benefit is that it will give you hope. When things seem down, maybe you’ll never walk again, take a good look at this list, visualize yourself doing these things and remind yourself that it is your goal and your mission to walk once more. Don’t allow this list to dispirit you, instead, have it imbue you with excitement for the future and remind you that you CAN and WILL do these things. Even if everyone is against you, you will prove them wrong! 

The second benefit is that it makes you seriously consider and challenge what you can do NOW. Never get caught up in the pernicious feeling that life is over and you can’t do anything anymore. Maybe you won’t be able to achieve the “Things I’ll Do When I Walk” list right away, but that’s why we have the other section. You are forcing yourself to challenge what you can do while in a wheelchair.

This list excites me beyond exposition. It reminds us that we can still achieve a lot while we’re in a wheelchair and that life is pliable, we shape it with our actions and mind. If you perceive your life as over, everything will soon reflect your philosophy. 

How do you actually construct this list? What does it look like?

I recommend making the list of things you’ll do when you walk, or gain some degree of ideal mobility back, first. Make this list ample. Be creative and think big. What else will you do? Think small?

After you make this list reflecting your wildest dreams, explicate and challenge each item, give serious thought to whether or not this is something that can only be done after you’ve recovered. 

Sometimes, I’ll think of something new that I really want to do and write it down in the “recovered” section but then realize that I can totally do it this week if there weren’t issues with money or some learning curve. So, I take the ambition and move it to the other side.

[Aside] This list actually started off as just a list for what I’ll do after I walk until I realized how powerful it will be if I add the “while injured” section. 

This is a real list, some of the things on this list will be humdrum, but they are nonetheless important to us. You may not think that playing volleyball is all that grandiose, but for me, it’s something I really enjoy.
I’ve never shared or told anyone about this list and now I’m going to reveal it to the world.
Remember that this is MY list, based on what I like and how I want to live my life, we will have big and small things, so long as they are important to us, and we intend to complete them as if it’s life’s dictum. 

Here’s what MY list looks like. There are some things that we could belabor on whether or not they should be on the “Walk” side of the list, but we won’t.

Remember that the things on the list are for you! (I’m saying it a lot because it’s important)

For me, I know I could ski while still in a wheelchair, and I might.
But when I say ski, I envision the type that isn’t in a wheelchair/adaptive skis, and that’s the type of skiing that I want to do. 
I also want to live in an RV and drive around. That one was in the “recover” section until I realized that what I envisioned could easily be done in a wheelchair and it wouldn’t impact the reason I’m doing it (explore, travel, learn and have fun).
I could technically travel to Greece in a wheelchair, but I wouldn’t be able to do the things I want to do (lots of stairs in Greece).
I think you get the point.

The Twain Aims List, AKA Dual Dreams

By the way, this list is in an iPhone-only app called “Bear”

Immediate action item: Make this list right now!

Summary: Create a list with two sections: Recovered and Injured, then write what you’ll do for each part of your life. This is a must have list for anyone in a wheelchair. If you’re not, then I still recommend making the list based on whatever dichotomy is present in your life. It’s helped me a lot!

Overdeliver: Even though I’ve kept this list private, until now, I have gotten involved in the communities for most of these topics and then I inform people of my ambitions (naturally, in conversation) and they are always wanting to help. Take flying for example. I went to EAA Oshkosh and now I know many pilots or retired pilots who want to help me and see me succeed. I’m very grateful for all of them and the only thing really holding me back is the money and the ability to prioritize the apposite time commitment to flying. Remember that everything you’re doing and not doing (within your physical limitations, but even that’s debatable) is a representation of how you prioritize.

PS: PS can be Post-Scriptum or Pre-Scriptum, language is malleable

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Questions Paraplegics Need to Ask After Getting Injured

Reading time: 4 minutes

When you first see your doctor or nurse after getting paralyzed, your mind is flooding with questions and thoughts.

We’re going to start with a quote to set the mood.

It is not the answer that enlightens, but the question.

Eugene Ionesco, French-Romanian Playwright

By the way, if you look closely at the featured picture for this post, you’ll see that my doctor and I are matching with turtle necks (also socks but that’s cropped out)

I asked him a lot of questions.

There are a lot of questions you should be asking yourself and the people around you. In this post, we’ll focus on the first few days after your injury and some key questions to ask the nurses or doctors.

Keep in mind that these are not all the questions, but they are questions that I’m glad I asked and some are ones that I really wish I asked. 

NOTE: I’m going to say doctor for simplicity of writing, but you could think of it as meaning doctors, nurses, therapists or anyone in the medical profession.

A lot of people will ask “Will I walk again?” and the doctors will avoid a definite answer. They truly don’t know. Sometimes it may seem like you will walk, but your injury might be just enough so that you don’t. Everyone truly is different in regards to their body, injury and how it recovers.

Asking if you have a chance to walk again is not going to get you anywhere, doctors don’t want to give you false hope and then become your outlet for hate. They didn’t do anything other than give you an answer to your question. 

Remember that doctors know a lot, you have access to years of experience, research, and schooling. Think of all that they do know. They might not know the future, but here are a few good questions that could give you better answers.

Questions for your journey to recovery

  • What can I do to improve the odds of walking again?
  • Do you know about any resources I can look into? (books, articles, etc.) 
  • Are you familiar with any medical devices that might help me recover?
  • Do you know anyone else who is? (always get more than one opinion)
  • Are you aware of any herbal medicines that could help or resources where I can learn more?

These questions go a lot deeper than the yes/no “will I ever walk?” 

Now that you’re in the world of SCI, it’s important to know more than the average bear. 

Make sure you know about your injury. Look at the x-rays, ask the doctors to tell you what you should be looking at. You could even have them draw on the paper copies and annotate them. 

Questions about your injury

  • What was the procedure of my surgery? (a summary of what they did)
  • What is my injury level? 
    • Typically, what does an injury of that level entail?
  • From the surgery, what tools were put in? (I have metal rods in my back)
    • Is there anything I should watch out for, concerning the tools?
  • Is my spinal cord bruised or severed?
  • How does the spinal cord heal?
  • Where on the spinal cord is the damage?
  • Does this area typically relate to a certain function?
  • What type of injury is this? (this is meant to be for the vertebrae and spinal cord, it could be a fracture or a burst or something else and the spinal cord might be severed or bruised)

Asking questions like these is only good if you remember the answers.

Personally, I like to take notes in notebooks. 

These are some great notebooks for you to document your journey and thoughts:

Field Notes Resolution Special Edition Memo Books, 2 Checklist Journals and 1 56-Week Date Book, (3-1/2″ × 5-1/2″) Winter 2017 Rhodia 118669 Webnotebook, 5-1/2 x 8-1/4, Black Cover, Blank Moleskine Classic Notebook, Soft Cover, XL (7.5″ x 9.5″) Ruled/Lined, Myrtle Green, 192 Pages

Another important topic to cover in the early days is considering your health.

Now that you understand the fundamentals of your injury, how the spinal cord works and the options you have that pave the road to recovery, you need to learn about the effects.

What types of changes can you expect in your body? What are the potentially bad things that could happen and how can you reduce the chance of it happening?

It’s important to start considering your health immediately. Your body is going to change in dramatic ways.

This doesn’t mean life is over, it only means that your priorities are going to change. Team Cosmo is known for being able to adapt to new situations and flourish!

Questions about your health and body

  • Assuming that I don’t gain any more movement than I have right now, what types of changes are likely to happen to my body?
  • When will I know that my body is near finished healing? (Since my spinal cord was bruised, I asked this and was told that the majority of my healing will happen within 5 months)
  • What are some changes I should be aware of that might affect me the most?
  • What can I do to improve my health and make sure that my body is in its best possible condition? (diet and exercise/stretching)
  • What are some things that might arise? (give an example like muscle spasms or nerve pain)
    • For that/those issues, how can I best deal with them? (diet, medication, best practices)

Remember that these questions are not all that you can ask. I see these as the bare minimum. There is never a bad time to ask your doctor these questions if you don’t know the answers yet, but I recommend that these types of questions are asked as soon as possible after an injury.

I plan on writing more posts that cover questions to ask in rehab and anywhere else that might help. 

Remember to share this post, you never know who could benefit from this. Helping heals the soul. 

Immediate actionable items: Write these questions down and brainstorm more of your own. Comment down below some good questions/answers you’ve come across. Most importantly, ask these questions and document the answers. Don’t rely on your memory, this is important information. 

Summary: Asking the right questions is important. Here are three categories of questions designed for the early days after your injury. Questions about recovery, injury, and health & body. 


Overdeliver: Whenever your doctor does something, either prescribes medication or advise you on something. Remember to ask why, but asking “why” can sometimes come off as if you’re rejecting their expertise and it puts them on the defense, try to phrase the question similar to these, “I’m curious, what’s the reason for that?”, “What is the benefit of ____?”, “Can you explain that?” , “I’m not sure I understand. What is this for?”

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Don’t Hesitate: A Message to All Paraplegics

This applies to everyone, actually

Reading time: 6 minutes

At the beginning of my journey, I was in the hospital (of course), and I was extremely uncomfortable with everything. The thought of a catheter makes anyone squirm, even at this point, over a year after using catheters every day, I try not to think about it.

I’m not as manly as you might think. For the 6 days, I was in the hospital after my surgery, I hated when I had to “cath.” I would take a pillow and put it over my face and tell the nurse to just tell me when it was over. Even though I couldn’t really feel it, I was afraid that I might.

Just a few days before, I was walking and NOT using a catheter, I didn’t even know what a catheter was.

I took it to an extreme. By the third or fourth day, I was down from four IV’s to just one. I didn’t need much of any medication. However, I was so terrified of being able to feel the catheter that I still took pain killers. I demanded it. I didn’t need them at all, though.

That’s how scared I was about feeling the catheter.

Right now, I’d go back in time and slap myself.

Don’t make the same mistake. For using a catheter or anything, really.

When I went to rehab a few days later, I knew something had to change. I realized that I can’t be scared about cathing if I expect to recover and gain my independence back.

The very first day, the nurse who came in, his name was Caesar (his name is Caesar), I told him that I need to cath (it was a long ride from the hospital to rehab) and that he needs to teach me how to do it.

Two mistakes I made in the hospital:

  • I didn’t take responsibility for myself and I avoided doing what was necessary
  • I didn’t learn how to be responsible for myself

Some of you might not physically be able to cath, that’s totally fine.

The point here is that you have to do everything you’re capable of doing.

In the hospital, I could have asked the nurses and doctors about how catheters work, best practices, and how to do it.

Visualize what life will be like once you’ve recovered. For me, it involves living a life of freedom – traveling and exploring. I might buy an RV and live a life of touring the country. If that happens, and I hope it does, I will probably have to poop in the woods at some point.

When I was scared of cathing, did I expect someone else to do it for me my whole life, when I absolutely can do it for myself? Honestly, I can’t understand why I was even okay with someone else doing that for me.

It gets a little worse.

A catheter is only for #1. What about #2?

This next part is 18+

Don’t continue reading unless you’re prepared to feel uncomfortable.

If you’re not 18, but in a wheelchair, then you’ll probably be familiar with this, so for anyone in a wheelchair, this is another day in the park. (Not that it’s nearly as pleasant).

For me, and it may differ drastically for everyone, this is called the bowel program. I came up with many names, such as “poopy program” or anything that didn’t sound so medically uptight. After all, I already had a finger up my ass.

It took me much, much longer to accept that I had to “manipulate my bowels.” I don’t remember when I first did it myself, but if you’re patient and a fast reader, I probably mentioned it in one of my Instagram posts.

This is one of those things that I look back and shake my head a little. I don’t remember if I ever pooped in the hospital, but before I tell you about my first time doing this myself, here’s how it worked in rehab when I didn’t do it for myself.

At a set time every night (rehab was very regimented), I would grab my fancy hospital bed remote and press the button I was all too familiar with. The SOS. The help button. 

The nurse assigned my room would come in. We always bantered and had good conversations. They would grab the incontinence pad unless I already had one under me. It’s pretty much a square diaper. I would take off my diaper. By now, the door was shut and my Mom had left the room, thank God. 

The first step for the nurse was to put on some medical gloves, then some medical lubricate on their finger and while I lay on my left side, go in and clear out the colon. Then, with the “ready to go” stuff out, we wrapped it up in the incontinence pad and like planned magic, there was another pad underneath. Part two is that a laxative was put in and the nurse left, waiting for me to call 15 minutes later to take the second incontinence pad, wrap it up and we’re done.

The song I played.

Nurses were both men and women. One time, I played this song as one nurse came in. Luckily, she thought it was funny. Even when a nurse is coming in to put their finger in your butt and pull out poop, you can still be lighthearted. 

This went on for a lot longer than it should’ve. If you’re reading this while you’re in rehab or even still in the hospital, then I’m happy. 

I want this message to get to as many people as it can early on. 

This was something that I just couldn’t accept doing for a long time. It was outside of my comfort zone. This was astronomically out of my comfort zone. I didn’t expect it to be done for me forever and again, I was completely able to do it for myself. Because of that, I can’t imagine why I was so much more comfortable with someone else doing this.

The first time I did my own bowel program

I had prepared. The past three or four nights, I wasn’t just lying on my side in silence. I was asking for gruesome details. I knew that I needed to do this on my own. In rehab, they also have standards they hold you to. They expect you to progress and have thresholds for how long you can be in one spot. I had reached the limit for how long I could avoid doing this. 

It was the nurse that I carelessly whispered who came into my room and told me to get up and do it myself. Instead of doing my bowel program on the bed, which would’ve been a lot harder, she had me get into my wheelchair, go into the bathroom and transfer onto the toilet commode (a cushioned chair with a hole in the middle). At this point, she was giving me the tough love that I am more than thankful for. I live for tough love. She wouldn’t believe me that this was actually my first time and that I still didn’t know what I was doing. 

I double gloved. I wanted to put as much distance between me and this process. Two gloves was the best I could do. After that, I put on the lubricant and manipulated my bowels. 

A quick note: while I was doing this, the nurse told me that sometimes this will cause people to pee and that sometimes people peed on her! It takes a brave person. She was still helping me and making sure to coach me through this unthinkable process, so, she was sitting right in front of me. You can use your arm to point “it” down while you do this (doesn’t apply to women). 

Ever since that day, I’ve been doing the bowel program myself. I only wish that I had done it myself a lot earlier than I did. 

Immediately actionable item: Ask yourself, am I avoiding doing something that I shouldn’t be? Set a plan to do it today, or begin the process today.

Summary: Don’t hesitate cathing or your bowel program. Do as much as you can early on. You’ll have to do it on your own at some point. I waited way too long to do some things on my own. It takes a lot of courage, but it’s something you need to do. 

Over-deliver: A lot of people won’t give you the tough love you need. They’ll give you the easy way out and help you if you ask. If things seem too easy, ask for tough love.

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Welcome to Team Cosmo

Hey!

This is my first “blog.” I wanted to at least have one or two for you when you got here.

I’m hoping to have at least one blog post per week. They may be short, like a little paragraph weekly challenge or long enough to split into two separate posts. I’m focusing on two things, equally ranked: give value, have fun. I enjoy giving value, so, having fun while doing it should be easy 😉

Also,

I’m extremely excited! Not only am I able to reach and help more people, but I’ll improve my writing skills, and I really enjoy writing.

Even though I don’t have much in terms of blog posts, all the pages on this site have a lot of new info on them, stuff I haven’t talked about on Instagram or YouTube. I think the Cosmo page has the most on it. I had fun writing that one.

As I’m writing this, I just finished recording about 20 minutes of video content for Instagram.

I’m in Australia and I did a campus tour & talk. All about my time hear up to this point. More or less rambled about my time here, and ranted and raved about the nature on the the campus. It’s probably a little cringey but I was just free flowing, having fun recording some videos.

I’m also putting this blog in every category that I’ve made so you ‘ll have an idea of what kind of topics we’ll cover together. More will be added over time.

For now, check out my Instagram and YouTube after you’ve gone through all the pages on this amazing website!

There are a couple forms you could fill out on the FAQ page and the Keynote page

Remember to share this website, you never know who it could help.

Much love to Team Cosmo

Stay healthy!

-Cosmo

PS, I’m writing this post while outside doing a time lapse of the sunset for my Instagram video and I got bit TWICE on my pinky by mosquitoes. That’s the type of devotion I have to Team Cosmo