This is something that has been a lingering and slow developing thought that I finally had some conclusive internal dialog about.
I am often told how inspiration I am. Thank you. I guess I am. I won’t try to argue against it. But I don’t feel that way. I’m just doing what I do. I don’t see how it’s inspirational. I feel like just a normal guy who does things. This amount of humbleness is probably making you throw up in your mouth. Nonetheless, it’s true. Maybe because I’ve never really felt inspired by anyone. I’ve had admiration and respect for many people, but I don’t think I can honestly say I’ve been inspired. It’s possible that I’m forgetting something or that I have been inspired but haven’t labeled the feeling as such. Whatever. The point is that when people see me do pull-ups, travel, have a positive attitude, and otherwise go about life as if nothing is wrong, I suspect that what they call inspirational is actually a feeling of “if I were him, there’s no way I could or would be doing all that.” No one knows what they’re capable of until they are faced with a challenge. A lot of people don’t do half the things I’ve done in a wheelchair in twice or five times the years. So, I suppose some people really couldn’t do what I do if they were in my situation. That doesn’t mean it’s all that special.
There is a difference between hard and harder.
That’s the main idea that has been lingering in my thinking brain and what I’m writing about now. Yes, going to the gym is harder is some objective & quantifiable ways. Getting in and out of the car is hard amongst other things I can’t think of. Once I’m in the gym, I do what I can and I struggle the same as everyone else. We move heavy weight and try to do more tomorrow. We build ourselves slowly, with dedication and consistency. I am no different or any more special than whoever is with me in the gym 5 days a week ad infinitum. Just because my life is harder, doesn’t mean it’s actually harder in the way you might think.
Everything is harder. Nearly everything I do is objectively harder in that it takes more effort, more time, more ATP energy, or psychologically. But this does not mean that everything I do is actually hard as in difficult. Harder does not mean hard.
When I was at a bodybuilding show, signing in and getting my number, I talked to a few people backstage and one of the conversations I was part of was between me, a retired wheelchair bodybuilder and a magazine photographer. The photographer mentioned how much respect they have for the wheelchair bodybuilders and made reference to the other guy competing at the Olympia a few years back. I kept my mouth shut but here’s the truth. It is no special. I might be the only honest person to say this. Wheelchair bodybuilding is not special. Forget the wheelchair. I didn’t have to overcome anything other than the same exact suffering that any good bodybuilder endures. Bodybuilding is essentially this: super human discipline, scientific starvation, weightlifting. Drugs too but they don’t actually make any of that easier. There is no reason that I can see why I should get more praise than the next guy over. We literally do the same thing, I just skip leg day. I feel the same way about losing weight. I’ve now come to learn that 99% is just being in a calorie deficit. Exercise helps with muscle mass and looking good, but it has nearly no effect on actual weight loss. It’s all about a healthy calorie deficit. I once saw someone in a wheelchair talk about their weight loss journey. That’s good for them, but being in a wheelchair does not make it impressive or inspirational. Being overweight and being in a wheelchair (via a spinal cord injury or whatever) are two totally separate things.
I guess I went off the rails there for a little bit. The point is that harder does not mean that it’s actually become hard. Not everything instantaneously becomes some monumental Atlas or Herculean task. Getting in my car is not hard. It’s just harder than what normal people do. I won’t lecture or scold anyone for complimenting me on doing it. I did once see someone who was resenting, complaining, and lashing out against those who complimented them for doing simple daily tasks such as getting into a car. I saw this as a social media post. I hated it. Let people be impressed. Say thank you and give yourself a pat on the back because it actually is impressive. Just because something gets worse, doesn’t mean it’s now bad. If you get a rock in your shoe during a beautiful hike, does that ruin the view?
Edit: Here’s an example that I think really gets the point across. I was just talking with my brother about this. How do I articulate to you that just because the way I do things is harder, it’s not actually hard.
Here’s the example. When I get into the car (like I’ve been mentioning), I have to transfer into the car and then take my wheelchair apart. This makes getting into the car take more time and effort than for a normal person. BUT, if my brother gets in the wheelchair, lifts himself into the car, and does everything I do for taking the wheelchair apart and lifting it into the car, he would say “oh, that wasn’t that hard.”
I have an added process for getting into the car, which makes it harder. That extra process, however, is not difficult in and of itself.
I hope you can understand this.
Wheelchair DNA 